Losing it
I've never been known for my phrasing. For melodic opinions and a general lack of patience and technical skills to achieve those opinions usually, but not quite for phrasing. Callous by nature, now my phrasing's gone kaput and never quite recovered. Which is why I'm very thankful for the kind words (something along the lines of "feminine articulation of mozart", also because unfortunately it seems to be the first time anyone has used that adj on me).
Perhaps technical people never quite feel as much as artistic people. Which is quite a double-edged sword cos luckily you never quite hurt as much, but then you also never quite feel properly ecstatic.
It's honestly very difficult straddling both bizarrely different spectrums. You don't fit in anywhere, except perhaps with that bunch of similarly wretched people who are stuck in this "best of both worlds" situation. And to be on the opposite side of this spectrum when other people are on the other side, is really one of the big jokes of life. There's so much going on someone should just tell me when to switch sides. Cos it's about as easy as balancing on a gigantic rubber ball with two people pulling you in opposite directions.
I've always thought one's musical output is highly correlated to his or her personality. And it's really like your GP teacher said, write about something honest and it will be best received. Except some things might be too revealing and might be better off kept under covers. You don't often see a crustacean wandering all over the place without its shell do you.
So now my phrases are dishonest, rough and not well thought through. And so once again, shortcuts never work, and neither does sweeping things under the carpet.
Some people say people who play music are solitary because of the extreme amount of time spent in solitude, practising. Which is quite a conundrum because you do afterall, want an audience. But then a successful performce to an audience means truthfulness and that always takes an emotive chunk out of you. And does that mean in every painfully shy player, there lies an exhibitionist? And are the exhibitionists really as they seem? Or is it just a persona that is just easier to live with?
And then there are soloists and group players. I often wonder, if a person thinks more and more for others than for himself, will that person become more of a group player than a soloist? And does that make him less accomplished? Less directive?
Music teaches some good lessons, but chucks you some silt as well. I suppose the trick is to catch the good and unlearn the bad.
Perhaps technical people never quite feel as much as artistic people. Which is quite a double-edged sword cos luckily you never quite hurt as much, but then you also never quite feel properly ecstatic.
It's honestly very difficult straddling both bizarrely different spectrums. You don't fit in anywhere, except perhaps with that bunch of similarly wretched people who are stuck in this "best of both worlds" situation. And to be on the opposite side of this spectrum when other people are on the other side, is really one of the big jokes of life. There's so much going on someone should just tell me when to switch sides. Cos it's about as easy as balancing on a gigantic rubber ball with two people pulling you in opposite directions.
I've always thought one's musical output is highly correlated to his or her personality. And it's really like your GP teacher said, write about something honest and it will be best received. Except some things might be too revealing and might be better off kept under covers. You don't often see a crustacean wandering all over the place without its shell do you.
So now my phrases are dishonest, rough and not well thought through. And so once again, shortcuts never work, and neither does sweeping things under the carpet.
Some people say people who play music are solitary because of the extreme amount of time spent in solitude, practising. Which is quite a conundrum because you do afterall, want an audience. But then a successful performce to an audience means truthfulness and that always takes an emotive chunk out of you. And does that mean in every painfully shy player, there lies an exhibitionist? And are the exhibitionists really as they seem? Or is it just a persona that is just easier to live with?
And then there are soloists and group players. I often wonder, if a person thinks more and more for others than for himself, will that person become more of a group player than a soloist? And does that make him less accomplished? Less directive?
Music teaches some good lessons, but chucks you some silt as well. I suppose the trick is to catch the good and unlearn the bad.
posted by Fauna at 10:20 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home